"I love you not because of who you are"

"Mommy you love that dog way too much", said Claire in a non complaining tone while doing her homework and listening to my mumbling to Calitey at the same time.

Once Claire said to me, "Mommy if you love Caitlin and Caitey before me, it is OK I don't mind". It might sound a little cold but I think it is pretty cool for a 10-year old to hold that kind of mature attitude. She reminds me of how I was when I was her age -- mischievous but well behaved (in general), passionate yet realistic, dreamy without being overly delusional.

Her comment got me thinking. I was not a dog person before Caitey. I had never owned a dog before her, I did have a cat for a little while when I was my girls' age but she ran away for reasons that we still don't know....well as they say "Dogs have families, cats have staffs". I AM a very motherly person in general but I have never imaged that I could love a dog this much. I adore Caitey from head to tail.

If only you could see the joy she gives me everytime I come back from outside... putting her front legs on me, wagging her tails, poking her wet nose against my face and licking me all over. Everytime I come down from upstairs, the little darling rushes out of the kitchen downstairs and runs to greet me at the end of the stairs. Mind you she only does this to me in the family, how she distinguishes our footsteps is beyond me. One day it rained after we went out to walk her so I asked Claire to run back with Caitey so they would not get so wet, but Caitey kept stopping to wait for me in the rain and Claire had to drag her all the way back home.

You can say that she is happy with me the most because I am the one who keeps feeding her treats, but it sure feels wonderful that you are appreciated this much. I get the satisfaction from seeing her happy, and my love to her is reinforced by her affection given back to me...thus this "chicken and egg" loop continues and the bonding flourishes.

This reminds me of a poem named "Love" by Roy Croft, but if I may twist it a little and change it to "I love you not because of who you are, but because of how you make me feel when I am with you".

For love to be sustained, be it between us humans or a human and an animal, constant input is forever needed to reap consistent output. It is like a bank, if you stop making deposits and keep making withdraws, eventually your account will be depleted and sooner or later the affection will run out.

So Caitey, keep your smothering kisses coming and I will keep your treats going.